Heavy Monday Blues

i had my weekend duty yesterday. today i feel so tired. my legs are so tired i don't feel like standing and walking. i feel like an old lady who cannot stand for long. i stoned almost the whole day. i was the inpatient specialist for today and i had tons of stuffs to pack and type. and i got alot of pneumatic tubes to shoot back to the wards, but apparently, i did not finish shooting them back. i should have snapped a photo of it. it was simply lots. ah lee laughed at me and said that i shouldn't have worked yesterday. maybe today i will regret. maybe this whole week i will regret. but when i know my november pay comes, i won't regret. & when i got my sunday duty again, i will fulfill it myself without selling to other people, & the vicious cycle shall continue.

today maylan taught me something. about teaching students how to work. and i thought about it. maybe the way we taught them is wrong. that's why people can never get it right. not everyone gets everything right the first time they were told so. everyone makes mistakes. everyone forgets. i should not be so impatient. i was once a student, i wished people would be patient in teaching a slow student like me. so i should not wish that the students i guide now goes express streams. sigh.

that made me think of the students at tampines west. i skipped training yesterday because of work. i could have made an effort to go and see them but i did not. they are going for grading soon. i should not leave them alone. 2 weeks ago, when i went back to teach them after going missing for 2 weeks, Crystal said she missed me. RuiYuan said that he was happy because i was back. he even asked how was my injury. somehow or rather, i feel guilty for not going down yesterday. like 对不起 them. sigh...

i haven't finished my korean medical drama. i haven't finished Grey's Anatomy. am not finishing it anyway because the discs are all not working. stopped medical drama for a new hongkong show; 恋爱星求人-- some stuffs about horoscope.

there was this scene whereby the female lead could not sleep in the middle of the night, so she called her best friend, the male lead. he was sound asleep, but he woke up in the middle of the night, entertained her, & even read newspaper to her. he read the weather forecast to her, so she could not ask questions, & do nothing but listen to him talk until she falls asleep. sweet right?

& i asked, how many of us would be willing to do that? honestly saying, if my phone rings in the middle of the night, i would scold some stuffs before asking the person what he or she wants.. would i do what the male lead did for the female lead? i don't know. would anyone do this for me? i also don't know.

last question: why am i having so many thoughts running in my brain. answer is, I don't know. SIGHS.