Long Time No See!!

i have not been blogging for soooooooo long!
i have not been online for soooooooo long!!
exam are coming soooooooon!!!

am on a roller coaster mood recently.
up & down a little too many.
stress about exams,
stress about thesis,
stress about work,
stress about my transfer.

i cannot accept the fact that i am transferred.
i am very disappointed.
still, very!

BUT!
i will accept it in my stride.
continue to work hard.
close my eyes, ears & mouth to everything that is not my problem.
work hard, study hard, get good results.

after that, i wanna have my swimming,
after that, i wanna train up my abs,
after that i wanna have my CHILLI CRAB!

jiayou limshiping!
i just need to survive till march end.
after that, i am one step nearer to superman.
:)

Disturbance VS Gossips

the difference between disturbance and gossips, is just one fine line.
i'm very fine with you disturbing me, or poking fun of me
as long as i know you don't have any evil intentions.

however, the last thing i would ever entertain would be gossip.
so whatever 'news' you are trying to get from me,
don't try.

and please don't use the phrase 'I'm just concern..'
'cause to me, it's plain bullshit.
i know, in this world, who are the ones who are truly concern about me.
thankyouverymuch.

YOU!!!

江山能改，本性难移..

how true.

after so long, you still haven't change a bit.

i saw what i deem as the past me.

oh well, maybe the third party is more tolerant to this kind of you.

whatever~

i only know if u tie too tight, one day the third party will struggle too,

LIKE ME!!!!!

=)

sources around me are there in times of emo-ness.
so sweet eh?
always there for me.
but somehow or rather, when they compile the timing of my emo-ness together,
it doesn't really tally.
hahaha.
这位小姐还挺麻烦的hor?
LOL!!!!!

you never fail to crack me up with your jokes when i am down.
you can be my best dustbin when i need.
forever there to listen to my grumbles and mumbles even though i think
half of the time you dont know who am i talking about.
i will remember your birthday wish for me on my birthday.
'hope you find a job that you like soon.'
hahahhaa!!
& i will never forget your psycho-s for me to take leave for
some reasons.

thank you alvin kor.
you rock!
hahahah!
:D

Locked!

mind made up.
from now onwards, it's gonna be locked.
& i ain't no longer so stupid,
to open it so easily.
it's not going to be easy,
my mind says i can, i hope my heart can too. :))

*****

few days ago..
i texted brother..
me: brother, wo hen nan guo.. :((
then we chatted over the phone for some time... xie xie bro!

the next day..
brother texted me..
him: sister, wo hen nan guo.. :((
hahaha!!! i've got such a funny brother.

thinking..

我们之间到底是怎样，我没有正确的答案。
我也没有想要你在短时间内给我一个正确的答案。。
是我多心了吗？总是觉得你稍微地变了。
我想，或许在大家确定以前，是佛应该先回到原点？想清楚再向前？
毕竟虽然大家的梦想是相同的，但进度却大不相同。
我不想影响你的大好前途。。

或许乖乖的呆在你身边也能帮到你，因为那是种默默地支持，
但是，那是需要经过你的同意。
对不起，我很笨，
拐弯抹角的事我听不懂，看不懂。
希望你能明确地说清楚。。。

Heavy Monday Blues

i had my weekend duty yesterday. today i feel so tired. my legs are so tired i don't feel like standing and walking. i feel like an old lady who cannot stand for long. i stoned almost the whole day. i was the inpatient specialist for today and i had tons of stuffs to pack and type. and i got alot of pneumatic tubes to shoot back to the wards, but apparently, i did not finish shooting them back. i should have snapped a photo of it. it was simply lots. ah lee laughed at me and said that i shouldn't have worked yesterday. maybe today i will regret. maybe this whole week i will regret. but when i know my november pay comes, i won't regret. & when i got my sunday duty again, i will fulfill it myself without selling to other people, & the vicious cycle shall continue.

today maylan taught me something. about teaching students how to work. and i thought about it. maybe the way we taught them is wrong. that's why people can never get it right. not everyone gets everything right the first time they were told so. everyone makes mistakes. everyone forgets. i should not be so impatient. i was once a student, i wished people would be patient in teaching a slow student like me. so i should not wish that the students i guide now goes express streams. sigh.

that made me think of the students at tampines west. i skipped training yesterday because of work. i could have made an effort to go and see them but i did not. they are going for grading soon. i should not leave them alone. 2 weeks ago, when i went back to teach them after going missing for 2 weeks, Crystal said she missed me. RuiYuan said that he was happy because i was back. he even asked how was my injury. somehow or rather, i feel guilty for not going down yesterday. like 对不起 them. sigh...

i haven't finished my korean medical drama. i haven't finished Grey's Anatomy. am not finishing it anyway because the discs are all not working. stopped medical drama for a new hongkong show; 恋爱星求人-- some stuffs about horoscope.

there was this scene whereby the female lead could not sleep in the middle of the night, so she called her best friend, the male lead. he was sound asleep, but he woke up in the middle of the night, entertained her, & even read newspaper to her. he read the weather forecast to her, so she could not ask questions, & do nothing but listen to him talk until she falls asleep. sweet right?

& i asked, how many of us would be willing to do that? honestly saying, if my phone rings in the middle of the night, i would scold some stuffs before asking the person what he or she wants.. would i do what the male lead did for the female lead? i don't know. would anyone do this for me? i also don't know.

last question: why am i having so many thoughts running in my brain. answer is, I don't know. SIGHS.

The passer-by

it's confirmed, guranteed & stamped. he's no longer here. ask if i'm sad? wasn't that bad. because it is half-expected. i don't expect him to be here forever. but just a little because the truth sinks in. and the fact that the next two postings would be  further and further away. now that truth comes, i will not be expecting to see him anywhere in the cafes, cheers, wards, pharmacies. not even prescriptions signed by him. sighs. oh well, we'll meet if we have fate; even if it means on the streets. i don't ask for much. the fact he remembers is enough.

wishing him all the best in all his postings. and hopefully may we meet in the same working place once more again in the near future. haha.

this passer-by, he will never know. once upon a time, his smile could actually makes someone's day. he was this 'special'. he is a special bond. :)

sometimes, i think the people around me have much more potential in taiji as compared to me. because they are absolutely excellent in pushing stuffs around. much more better than me.

patient's incompliance

now, i finally understand what it truly means of patient incompliance.
it's just one week of antibiotics. but it seems endless. i just seem to be unable to finish no matter how i take them. i am taking 8 tablets a day. just 2 days ago, i looked at the packet of medicine and asked, 'why are there still 3 more strips after taking so many tablets?!?!'
can you imagine people who are taking medications for long term? mine is for one week, & i feel like giving up already. theirs, is really for lifetime.

thoughts & feelings...

some thoughts running through today when on my way to work.

我们之间似乎疏远了好多好多。
从以前的天南地北，无话不说到了今天的无话可说，可悲啊。。。
或许你会认为我变了，变得。。 不在乎一切，变得很爱玩等等。
或许有人和你说过，我做事时并不认真，没有尽全力。
老实说，以前的我，可能会拼命地解释我的立场，
但，现在的我，已经不在乎了。
他人要怎样想，怎样说，我不想理了。
只要该知道的人，明白我的想法，就以足够了。
因为我只对重要的人做出解释罢了。

Maybe you would think my life has changed as compared.
Yes, i admit, it has. & it's for BETTER, and not a single bit has it been for the worse.
& please do not think it is because of you that I have changed.
Because not a single bit is.
I am enjoying what I am doing now. So I hope you would not barge in and mess it up again.
Though you might not succeed in messing it up.

十萬個為什麼

Anyone still remembers this?

a lil' sad that it's not shown on TV now right?

I still think it's cool because the things that 乌啦博士says

are still theories which I nv knew. 

hahaha!!!

theme song

interesting facts :))

thoughts & feelings...

sometimes i wonder, who can i really talk to when i need advices?
met with some questions on sunday.
& disappointingly, i don't know how to solve this question.

the question that i faced.. is different from what others faced bah.
the worst thing i felt was, it wasn't as though i wasn't given advices.
it wasn't as though no one gave me ideas on how to solved it.
ok, i was SPOON-FED with solutions, in fact.

but when i thought i was ready to face it, and i really went to face it,
i realize, i was.. helpless.
tired to salvage it, but.. haiz..
seriously, i don't know what am i doing it already.
seniors tried to help me in salvaging it, but they cannot be there to do it forever right?

i don't know what's running in my mind now. really. confused.

ps, thanks partner for listening to my rants. :)

future

I have rested for a week. now my butt is getting itchy, & i feel like looking for stuffs to do. my head is getting bigger. i don't know what is the future holding for me. should i continue this track? or should i just change track?

change track? change to what? i don't even know what i can do with a general science degree in the future. research? forget it la. nurse? maybe? since singapore needs nurses too.

remain as pharmacy track? like what? be a PT for 10 years, and become senior PT? & continue to pick and pack for my future? further studies? what if NUS doesnt want me, which is a high possibility. overseas? well.. let's see how first ok.

JW is right. even if i go overseas, also must make sure the uni is Grade 8 recognised. if not study already, come back, i am back to square one. waste time, waste effort, waste money, waste everything.

Mr Chong is right. either i waste 3 years of study life to change track, or i waste my whole life doing something that i don't like. so back to first question. change to what track??

i still like medicine. i know tt in me. maybe it's because i have been studying for some time, and i know a little about it. so when i look at medicine, i know what i am doing. but i like dispensing too. i like it when i do the right stuffs during dispesning and stuffs. oh well, who doesn't.

and now there is another problem popping out. where should i go? how & where. i believe in following my heart. will people understand? or i shouldn't believe in what people think, and what they view.

someone please tell me.
which is easier--
look for a rich boyf and get married,
or making a decison of the above?

Guys VS Girls

had a talk with Irene last week? & our topic was 'Is there "friends forever" between guys and girls?'

interesting huh? in our case, we are referring to the ones that are exceptionally close with one another, yet are only best friends. and not romantically involved. haha!

and yep, of course i believe in it!!! with a simple reason, because I've got guy friends who are really best of buddies, or at most brothers. not much further can we go. haha!

not many. but few. people whom i know who to look for when i have troubles or grumbles. like wei chong and wei mun. my wushu 'brothers'. hahah

& there is also one particular guy whom i mentioned to irene when we were discussing about this topic. coz he is really really the very good example of my best guy friend. even though we had been romantically linked before for LONG time, (thanks to some people) he is defintely my bestest guy friend;
someone whom i have known for quite some time.
someone who is always a listening ear away.
someone who is not physically there, but always a call or msg away.
someone who is a good SOS! haha!
someone who had been there with me during my worst working days.
someone whose little actions of support touched me.

we don't contact each other often. like.. few weeks to months. but when i need help, he is always there. he might not understand what i am going through. he might not understand all the stuffs i am doing. but he is there to hear me grumble non-stop until i stop. haha! he might be not free when i need his companion. but he is definitely there for suggestions.

if there is a guy whom my future boyfriend must be jealous of, excluding my dad, he is definitely the one. HAHAH! yeah, he is that significant in my life. he may not think that this is him. because we have not been in contact for quite some time, like a month or two. but nevertheless, yes, he is a person whom in a way see changes in me in a phase of my life.

so yup, i believe that there is this friendship that can last, between guys and girls.
like me and him!
don't ask me why i think that we can't further.
it's just a matter of chemistry between us. haha!!
& no, i am not revealing his name out.
happy guessing. :))