sighsssss

when i see my team mate getting picked on, i feel unfair for her.
when i see what my small boss is going through, i feel very unfair for her. my heart aches for her when i see her crying. when i see how hurt she is by them. but what can i do?

i don't understand. you want me to tell you how we feel. yet, after all the telling, you decide not to care about our feelings. so we learn not say anything and swallow everything. and you still can say 'it is your job to know.' i daresay, if one day i were to tell you how i feel right from the start, there will only be two endings. one, i fail my appraisal, two, you will hate me forever.

now, it's just byebye to blk 7 just like this. after one year, after the effort of picking up all loose ends on my own, after taking over the operations, after being thick skin and go through everything on my own. at least two small bosses love me for what i did. my rotation pharmacists love me for stand by-ing them. my partners treat me like sisters even though i once hated them. i am glad i have them. really. with them, i see how much i am worth. who says i can't learn anything in this small place. i learnt how to manage a pharmacy. i learnt to be independent. i learnt how to pass on my knowledge, skills, experiences. i feel so proud for maryann and myself when i see how independent she has become as well. seriously, i have never felt so much achievement ever since i started work.

i got myself a compliment from a patient here. on my unofficial-official last day, a patient gave me a wide smile and said i was very cheerful, lively, and thanked me. i guess that would never happen again.

goodbye block 7. gooodbye to the clerks who call me pretty, barbie, 美女。
goodbye coffee machines.
goodbye to all the effort i made here. a place where i proved my worth.
whatever a senior can do, i matched her standard.
i will miss everyone, everything here.
i will miss this little team here.
i will miss the bonds we have created here, the little secrets we share together.
in this place where i have a love-hate relationship with,
i actually feel sad now.
& i feel like crying. :((((